Today it was confirmed to me again, as it has many times, the "magic" that happens when I wake up in the early hours of a new day when I am refreshed, calm and with a clear mind come to my Father in Heaven in prayer and study the scriptures and other words of God. It is the most beautiful experience.
This morning I was studying the Sunday School lesson, specifically the importance of "pondering". (3 Nephi 17:3) It was so fun to read the scriptures and find links, connections, and greater understanding.
In my discovery today I found that pondering is one of the first steps to receiving revelation. There is a pattern to receiving revelation. We see it with Nephi, Moroni, Joseph Smith, etc. First, we "hear" the word of god; then we must ponder upon its meaning; third, we pray to Heavenly Father and ask for help to better understand His words with an eye single to His glory. This is what prepares our minds to receive revelation and greater understanding.
When we ponder we are quiet and calm and focus our thinking/meditate on truth. We think on the words we have heard... thinking is the beginning seeds of creation. Pondering allows the words to take root in us, by bringing the words from our minds to our hearts, holding them there. It is the action step we must take to receive Line Upon Line. He gives us truth, we take it and ponder it, receiving it, then more will come. When we hold the light, light cleaveth unto light... and another line is given. If the truth be in you it shall abound... and you will gain understanding...the spirit witnessing to our heart that they are true.
In D&C 88:62-68 the Lord is showing all the great blessings we will receive if we will come to God, ponder his words, ask and seek... and then finishes by declaring we must FIRST "Cast away your idle thoughts, and your excess of laughter far from you."
It all BEGINS in the mind... Our THOUGHTS are key.
D&C 88:68 Commandment: "Sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God." Promise: "The day will come that you shall see him, for he will unveil his face unto you." This brings greater light to the scripture "This is the time to prepare to meet God". To have our minds single to God we must have our thoughts focused on the things of eternity, not on things of the world. We must have an eye single to His glory. Be focused on Him in thought and desire and then our actions will follow. Spiritually Minded is Life Eternal.
Our mind is who we are.
Heaven truly is a state of mind. Pondering on the words of God helps us come to the proper state of mind to learn from on High.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Answer to Prayer
This last weekend was General Conference. We were fortunate enough to get tickets to go to the Conference Center for the Sunday Morning Session. I was so excited to take our oldest son, Trevor, to be in the presence of the Prophet and apostles! It was so fun going to Utah for the weekend, seeing my parents and soaking in the wisdom and inspiration from the Prophet and leaders of the church.
I have been really struggling with finding balance in life. I am trying to juggle too many things and don't know which ones to give up. It has been soooo calming and refreshing to hear the words of the prophets and get a clearer picture of what I need to do.
President Uchtdorf's talk was the one that hit me the hardest. He talked about how to live so we don't have regrets later on. It was just the council and direction I was seeking. My marriage and family is my most important thing to focus on. I need to cherish them and enjoy the journey. I need to stop comparing myself to other and how much they are able to juggle and do. It is not a competition. I need to go at the pace that I can handle and enjoy.
A lot of the other talks were on being a disciple of Christ and following Him. We must serve others. One talk was about how they prayed each morning to get direction of who they could serve that day. Then they would observe and look for the opportunity throughout the day. I have committed to doing this as well and today was my first day trying it. So this morning in my prayer I asked for guidance to serve someone today. After my prayer my friends name, Cassie Rentz, came to mind and I couldn't get her out of my mind. I have wanted to watch her 2 yr old daughter, Sidney, for her because she just had a baby two weeks ago, and I was hoping that I could do it on a day when she would really need it, like going to the doctor or something. But I keep putting it off, not being able to work it out with my schedule. Well, I had the feeling that today was the day. So I called her and asked if I could watch Sidney for a few hours. She said that would be great and that actually today was her baby Levi's 2-week doctor appointment! I couldn't believe it. I offered to take Sidney from 10am-1pm, so she could play, eat lunch and go home in time for a nap. When I took Sidney home, Cassie informed me that her husband had planned to come to the Dr. appt. to help with Sidney but had a meeting he had to go to, so it worked out perfectly that she came to play at our house. It was an awesome experience. I truly felt the guiding inspiration from God. I was so happy and grateful to be able to serve someone and lift a burden from them. It also confirmed to me God's love for Cassie and that he wanted to help her and loves her. I have been on Cloud 9 all day!
I am writing my life vision and last night I finished the section on "Nurturing my Relationship with God." I know that writing that section of my life vision has had a direct impact on what has happened and how I have felt today.
Another thing I included in my life vision was that each night I will stop and reflect on my day, to notice God's hand in my life. "God is in the details of our lives." So obviously, he instantly answered my prayer of whom I could serve today. Another one was, I was cleaning my house preparing for a RS Presidency meeting and was about to clean the bathroom. I was literally walking to the bathroom to clean it when I got a phone call and was delayed. During the phone call my daughter went to the bathroom and had an accident, making a big mess. I was so grateful that I hadn't just cleaned the bathroom and then would have had to clean it again after her mess! I had angels around me all day. I had my most productive day in a long time, getting a lot of things checked off my to-do list. Another huge one was I was able to get Makelle to bed, sound asleep at 6:55pm, 5 minutes before my RS mtg. was about to start. The kids were quietly watching a movie and we were able to have our meeting with no disruptions or distractions (Josh is out of town).
Today has been the BEST day in a long time. I know that praying and seeking Gods help makes all the difference.
“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their soals, and pour out peace.”
― Ezra Taft Benson
I have been really struggling with finding balance in life. I am trying to juggle too many things and don't know which ones to give up. It has been soooo calming and refreshing to hear the words of the prophets and get a clearer picture of what I need to do.
President Uchtdorf's talk was the one that hit me the hardest. He talked about how to live so we don't have regrets later on. It was just the council and direction I was seeking. My marriage and family is my most important thing to focus on. I need to cherish them and enjoy the journey. I need to stop comparing myself to other and how much they are able to juggle and do. It is not a competition. I need to go at the pace that I can handle and enjoy.
A lot of the other talks were on being a disciple of Christ and following Him. We must serve others. One talk was about how they prayed each morning to get direction of who they could serve that day. Then they would observe and look for the opportunity throughout the day. I have committed to doing this as well and today was my first day trying it. So this morning in my prayer I asked for guidance to serve someone today. After my prayer my friends name, Cassie Rentz, came to mind and I couldn't get her out of my mind. I have wanted to watch her 2 yr old daughter, Sidney, for her because she just had a baby two weeks ago, and I was hoping that I could do it on a day when she would really need it, like going to the doctor or something. But I keep putting it off, not being able to work it out with my schedule. Well, I had the feeling that today was the day. So I called her and asked if I could watch Sidney for a few hours. She said that would be great and that actually today was her baby Levi's 2-week doctor appointment! I couldn't believe it. I offered to take Sidney from 10am-1pm, so she could play, eat lunch and go home in time for a nap. When I took Sidney home, Cassie informed me that her husband had planned to come to the Dr. appt. to help with Sidney but had a meeting he had to go to, so it worked out perfectly that she came to play at our house. It was an awesome experience. I truly felt the guiding inspiration from God. I was so happy and grateful to be able to serve someone and lift a burden from them. It also confirmed to me God's love for Cassie and that he wanted to help her and loves her. I have been on Cloud 9 all day!
I am writing my life vision and last night I finished the section on "Nurturing my Relationship with God." I know that writing that section of my life vision has had a direct impact on what has happened and how I have felt today.
Another thing I included in my life vision was that each night I will stop and reflect on my day, to notice God's hand in my life. "God is in the details of our lives." So obviously, he instantly answered my prayer of whom I could serve today. Another one was, I was cleaning my house preparing for a RS Presidency meeting and was about to clean the bathroom. I was literally walking to the bathroom to clean it when I got a phone call and was delayed. During the phone call my daughter went to the bathroom and had an accident, making a big mess. I was so grateful that I hadn't just cleaned the bathroom and then would have had to clean it again after her mess! I had angels around me all day. I had my most productive day in a long time, getting a lot of things checked off my to-do list. Another huge one was I was able to get Makelle to bed, sound asleep at 6:55pm, 5 minutes before my RS mtg. was about to start. The kids were quietly watching a movie and we were able to have our meeting with no disruptions or distractions (Josh is out of town).
Today has been the BEST day in a long time. I know that praying and seeking Gods help makes all the difference.
“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their soals, and pour out peace.”
― Ezra Taft Benson
Friday, February 10, 2012
I Am of Infinite Worth
I have gained another little tutorial from the Savior.
A weakness I have is truly being able to see myself as God sees me. And now he has helped me better do that through an assignment I have been given to teach the Young Women. I was asked to speak to the Beehives this Sunday on the "Joy of Womanhood and our Divine Nature."
I truly do find immense joy, happiness and fulfillment as a righteous woman of God. And as I have been preparing my thoughts and what I wanted to share with the young women, I was laying in bed and trying to think of how I could help them understand their Divine Potential. The thought came to me that we, as daughters of God, are like diamonds. We are each beautiful, unique, very valuable. We are God's masterpiece. The beauty and value of a diamond never dies.
Our Divine Nature consists of the qualities that will make the most beautiful diamonds.
Women of Faith and Virtue are Clean, Pure, Clear and Strong.
Gaining Knowledge, Temperance and Patience gives us dimension and shape.
Then we can be filled with light and the spirit, which naturally will radiate brotherly Kindness, Charity and Love. We create rainbows of beauty wherever we go.
These are the qualities we must cultivate to be worthy to go the the Lords Temple. Is it any coincidence that we are given a diamond ring when we get married and "become a woman"? I think that little diamond is a message from God, telling us who we are, and showing us our divine potential.
I am God's Masterpiece. I am a daughter of God. I am strong, unique, a beautiful diamond of infinite worth. And when I am in line with His plan for me, I am able to be filled with His spirit and light and reflect it to create beauty within and around me.
A weakness I have is truly being able to see myself as God sees me. And now he has helped me better do that through an assignment I have been given to teach the Young Women. I was asked to speak to the Beehives this Sunday on the "Joy of Womanhood and our Divine Nature."
I truly do find immense joy, happiness and fulfillment as a righteous woman of God. And as I have been preparing my thoughts and what I wanted to share with the young women, I was laying in bed and trying to think of how I could help them understand their Divine Potential. The thought came to me that we, as daughters of God, are like diamonds. We are each beautiful, unique, very valuable. We are God's masterpiece. The beauty and value of a diamond never dies.
Our Divine Nature consists of the qualities that will make the most beautiful diamonds.
Women of Faith and Virtue are Clean, Pure, Clear and Strong.
Gaining Knowledge, Temperance and Patience gives us dimension and shape.
Then we can be filled with light and the spirit, which naturally will radiate brotherly Kindness, Charity and Love. We create rainbows of beauty wherever we go.
These are the qualities we must cultivate to be worthy to go the the Lords Temple. Is it any coincidence that we are given a diamond ring when we get married and "become a woman"? I think that little diamond is a message from God, telling us who we are, and showing us our divine potential.
I am God's Masterpiece. I am a daughter of God. I am strong, unique, a beautiful diamond of infinite worth. And when I am in line with His plan for me, I am able to be filled with His spirit and light and reflect it to create beauty within and around me.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Blessings of Consistency
Life is so incredibly amazing. I am the happiest I have ever been these last few months. I think it really took fire when I received my new calling as RS Mtgs. coordinator. This calling has really helped me learn and grow and reach new spiritual heights.
I have felt the spirit greater and on a more consistent basis than I ever have before.
What have I been doing?
1. Getting up early. Before the kids get up and the rush of the day sets in.
2. I pray to my Heavenly Father vocally.
3. And I anxiously, excitedly (attitude is important) dig in to my scriptures to learn and to receive spiritual nourishment for about an hour each morning. I literally feel the spirit nourishing me each time I read now. And I desire and seek it and can't wait to receive the guidance, strength and light each morning.
The scriptures have taken on a whole new dimension. They are INCREDIBLE. They are FILLED with truth and guidance. I am now able to more see the POWER of their words and teachings.
I am striving to align myself with my Father in Heaven and to do all I can to have His spirit with me and in our home.
Things I have learned this week:
1. Contention is one of Satan's ways to slip in to our marriage and family relationships. I am learning to safeguard this "hole" very carefully to not allow Satan in.
I am focusing very hard on cultivating LOVE, patience, kindness, long suffering and persuasion in myself and in my family relationships.
The results have been phenomenal with my children as I have gotten up early to begin my day spiritually before physically. I am now prepared and excited to meet my children when they wake up and we have amazing mornings together. The spirit is there. We have love and happiness together. It is giving me HOPE!
2. Attitude is SO important in achieving the outcome we desire. We HAVE to have the right attitude and desires in our heart. We were studying 1 Nephi in Sunday School today and seeing the difference between Nephi and his brothers Laman and Lemuel. Nephi kept telling them how they had "hardened their heart" and was "past feeling" of the words of God. We are told that the spirit speaks to us in our mind and in our heart. Therefore it is critical that we are consistently on guard and watchful of the condition of our mind and heart. Our thoughts, attitudes and desires effect our ability to feel and recognize the spirit that is trying to speak to us.
We must be humble to be guided by the spirit. We learn from Nephi and his family that when there is murmuring and bad attitudes we suffer and lose the guidance and help the spirit can bring. But how quick the Lord is willing to forgive and help us when we repent and come back to Him.
And our thoughts can be likened to the mighty Mississippi River. And the whisperings of the spirit can be like a little pebble being dropped in the river. We must be aware, sensitive and watching for the guidance of the spirit or we will easily miss them.
We must do all that we can in achieving the desires of our heart. The Lord will help us but we must do our part.
Anything that is important takes constant effort and hard work. We must give diligent effort EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. We must be sowing each day and look forward to the fruit of the harvest, which will come if we do the things we need to for them to come to come to fruition.
I have felt the spirit greater and on a more consistent basis than I ever have before.
What have I been doing?
1. Getting up early. Before the kids get up and the rush of the day sets in.
2. I pray to my Heavenly Father vocally.
3. And I anxiously, excitedly (attitude is important) dig in to my scriptures to learn and to receive spiritual nourishment for about an hour each morning. I literally feel the spirit nourishing me each time I read now. And I desire and seek it and can't wait to receive the guidance, strength and light each morning.
The scriptures have taken on a whole new dimension. They are INCREDIBLE. They are FILLED with truth and guidance. I am now able to more see the POWER of their words and teachings.
I am striving to align myself with my Father in Heaven and to do all I can to have His spirit with me and in our home.
Things I have learned this week:
1. Contention is one of Satan's ways to slip in to our marriage and family relationships. I am learning to safeguard this "hole" very carefully to not allow Satan in.
I am focusing very hard on cultivating LOVE, patience, kindness, long suffering and persuasion in myself and in my family relationships.
The results have been phenomenal with my children as I have gotten up early to begin my day spiritually before physically. I am now prepared and excited to meet my children when they wake up and we have amazing mornings together. The spirit is there. We have love and happiness together. It is giving me HOPE!
2. Attitude is SO important in achieving the outcome we desire. We HAVE to have the right attitude and desires in our heart. We were studying 1 Nephi in Sunday School today and seeing the difference between Nephi and his brothers Laman and Lemuel. Nephi kept telling them how they had "hardened their heart" and was "past feeling" of the words of God. We are told that the spirit speaks to us in our mind and in our heart. Therefore it is critical that we are consistently on guard and watchful of the condition of our mind and heart. Our thoughts, attitudes and desires effect our ability to feel and recognize the spirit that is trying to speak to us.
We must be humble to be guided by the spirit. We learn from Nephi and his family that when there is murmuring and bad attitudes we suffer and lose the guidance and help the spirit can bring. But how quick the Lord is willing to forgive and help us when we repent and come back to Him.
And our thoughts can be likened to the mighty Mississippi River. And the whisperings of the spirit can be like a little pebble being dropped in the river. We must be aware, sensitive and watching for the guidance of the spirit or we will easily miss them.
We must do all that we can in achieving the desires of our heart. The Lord will help us but we must do our part.
Anything that is important takes constant effort and hard work. We must give diligent effort EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. We must be sowing each day and look forward to the fruit of the harvest, which will come if we do the things we need to for them to come to come to fruition.
Monday, January 16, 2012
TRUTHS
I am a daughter of God. He knows who I am.
Prayer and scriptures put me in touch with God, my greatest source of comfort and counsel.
The Holy Ghost is my constant companion to strengthen me, comfort me, guide me and protect me.
Feelings of despair, discouragement, despondency and depression are tactics of Satan.
"Thine adversity and thin afflictions, shall be but a small moment; and then, if though endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." D&C 121:7-8
Recall past victories and count the blessings that you do have with a sure hope of greater ones to follow if you are faithful. In due time God will wipe away all your tears and that "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered intot he heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Cor. 2:9)
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Cor. 10:13)
Moroni 7:16 For behold, the aSpirit of Christ is given to every bman, that he may cknow good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
Prayer and scriptures put me in touch with God, my greatest source of comfort and counsel.
The Holy Ghost is my constant companion to strengthen me, comfort me, guide me and protect me.
Feelings of despair, discouragement, despondency and depression are tactics of Satan.
"Thine adversity and thin afflictions, shall be but a small moment; and then, if though endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." D&C 121:7-8
Recall past victories and count the blessings that you do have with a sure hope of greater ones to follow if you are faithful. In due time God will wipe away all your tears and that "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered intot he heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Cor. 2:9)
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Cor. 10:13)
Moroni 7:16 For behold, the aSpirit of Christ is given to every bman, that he may cknow good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do aevil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.
"Opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage...There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts...Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you. " - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Devotional, March 2, 1999
"Opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage...There are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts...Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you. " - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Devotional, March 2, 1999
Saturday, January 14, 2012
God's Blueprint
I had no idea what I was getting in to!
It was holiday season of Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I decided I would wait to talk to the RS Presidency about my Saturday Workshop idea until January, when things had slowed down. Then I learned that the counselor in the presidency was being changed, etc. so that made it difficult to have someone to talk to about it.
Thursday, January 5, the RS president, Louise Yarger, came to my home to discuss my idea for the January meeting. I had tentatively scheduled in my head to do the workshop on Saturday January 21. We discussed my ideas and she said she would talk to the bishop and the new RS Counselor to see if they were ok with a Saturday workshop. They both immediately agreed and the only Saturday available was January 21!
So I immediately called Crystal Wilkerson who I wanted to do the workshop with me. We planned to meet the very next day to start working on it. Late Saturday night I realized I needed to make flyers to post around the church to advertise for it. Nothing had been posted for the January activity yet and it would be in two weeks!
I was up very late that night and when Sunday morning rolled around I did not want to get up. Josh wasn’t feeling well and said he was going to stay home from church. I wanted to stay home too but it was my fault I was up so late and I don’t think my being exhausted was a good enough excuse. So I got up and got the four children ready for church and we went. We arrived late, had to park down the road and walk in. All the seats were full so we ended up sitting in the foyer for Sacrament Mtg. and missed half the Sacrament. It was fast and testimony meeting and my dear son Trevor bore his sweet testimony for the second time of his life. That was the only good moment of all of church. I was exhausted, the kids were being kids and I just plain didn’t want to be there. I posted the flyers for the workshop and attended my meetings like I should.
That afternoon back at home I started getting so stressed out over the workshop. I was literally sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. It consumed my entire body. It was the most awful feeling I had ever felt. I wanted to call Louise and tell her it was off but I had just announced it all over church! I did not know what to do or how to get rid of the stress and doubt and awful feelings that were literally consuming every fiber of my body. The only thing I could think of was to get a blessing from my husband. I am so grateful he is a worthy priesthood holder and that he can give me blessings I need in the very instant I need them. As he gave me the blessing I do not recall anything that he said. All I could focus on was the calmness that I felt. All the anxiety had left and I felt calm inside. It was wonderful. However, not long after the blessing the all consuming feelings of anxiety, stress, fear, and doubt returned. I was so confused! Was I supposed to do this workshop? I cried in despair and went to my husband for guidance. He is always so helpful to ask me questions and walk me through things mentally.
I decided I would still do the workshop because of the peaceful feeling I had received during the blessing. I met with Crystal Monday morning and we continued working on the details of the workshop. Day after day I still felt doubt, fear, stress, to an all consuming level. It would go away when I was talking with Crystal and at other brief moments. For days I could not sleep, my body was weak and trembling. I wanted to hide from myself but there was no escape.
It was now Thursday evening. I was crying for the umpteenth time about the workshop asking Josh again what I should do. I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I could not eat, I could not sleep. I could not go on like this any longer. He told me that only I could get that answer. It was between me and the Lord.
I resolved to go to my closet and consult the Lord. This wasn’t the first time I had done this. I had prayed for help and guidance all week and I felt like he was guiding me so why was I completely consumed with doubt, fear, etc?
I remembered something I had learned about praying for answers. It is best to ask “yes/no” questions rather than open ended ones. So I knelt down with a paper and pencil and wrote down a few questions. First, Should I do this workshop? Every time I asked that question the calmness would gently come in to my heart. OK, second question, Is the workshop outline (basically the contents of the workshop) ok? I felt a “no”. Something in the outline was wrong. Was it in the wrong order? Was it because I hadn’t actually done all the things I was teaching about? Was something missing? I sat there asking contemplating, listening, feeling, seeking for answers. It was frustrating and hard but I tried my hardest to seek His will and receive answers. When something came to my mind I wrote it down. “Power of thoughts”... “Create spiritually before physically” … “Laws”. I then started to write down everything I knew about the laws of “creation spiritually before physically” and the “law of the harvest”. I came to the conclusion I needed to talk about the laws of the universe and how our behavior stems from our thoughts. If we want to change our behavior we have to change our thoughts—what we focus on. Change our focus from earthly things to spiritual things. Focus on Christ. I received my answer! It took a long time, but it came. That night I could not sleep. My mind would not stop thinking about the points I needed to talk about. I was SO tired and tried to sleep but every time a thought came to my head I got up and went into my closet to write it down. This went on all night long. By morning I had several pages of sticky notes filled with ideas. I went to the computer and started a whole new outline for the workshop and put it together beginning to end. Finally I started to calm down. Things were starting to work out. By the very end of the day, I could actually go to sleep for the first time in a week.
I know that God knows who I am. He is aware of what I am doing. He knows my desires and wants to help me and does help me along the way, especially when I ask for specific help. This has been the craziest week of my life. I have never felt the feelings so intensely before. There is a true and living God. This is God’s church. He has THE plan. When we are stressed it is because we are trying to fit Him in to our plan. It is when we fit ourselves to His plan that things work out. I am so thankful for prayer. I am so thankful for inspiration. It is so real. You must be in tune with your feelings and be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Your feelings tell you if things are right or wrong. I know that there are keys of the kingdom. That with our callings there are keys that we are given to aid us in those callings. I have charge over the Relief Society Meetings and the sisters of our ward. I know that I have the right to discernment and guidance as to what the sisters need and how to plan activities to assist them in developing the areas of need. This gospel is amazing. I am so grateful for the Plan of Happiness. And we have a choice to pick God’s plan and the promised blessings, or to choose our own plan with no promise attached.
When making the outline for the workshop I had titled it “Blueprint Outline”. But by the time I was through I knew it was “God’s Blueprint.” I put blood, sweat and tears in to it. What an experience. God is in control. He is teaching us along the way if we are willing to learn. In every experience he is trying to teach us to TRUST IN HIM. He is our God. He is our Father. He knows you. He loves you. TRUST in His plan and you will not go wrong.
A few months back I thought it would be great to do a Relief Society activity on “Goal Setting”, basically the importance of living deliberately. I have been very goal oriented myself and see the great blessings that come from living this way. There has been studies done on what percentage of people actually set and write down their goals. The results are astounding. Only 3% of the population actually makes goals and writes down.
Our normal RS Activities are done on a Thursday evening from 7-8:30pm. I knew if I really wanted to make this class meaningful and really have the sisters implement the principles, we would need more time.It was holiday season of Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I decided I would wait to talk to the RS Presidency about my Saturday Workshop idea until January, when things had slowed down. Then I learned that the counselor in the presidency was being changed, etc. so that made it difficult to have someone to talk to about it.
Thursday, January 5, the RS president, Louise Yarger, came to my home to discuss my idea for the January meeting. I had tentatively scheduled in my head to do the workshop on Saturday January 21. We discussed my ideas and she said she would talk to the bishop and the new RS Counselor to see if they were ok with a Saturday workshop. They both immediately agreed and the only Saturday available was January 21!
So I immediately called Crystal Wilkerson who I wanted to do the workshop with me. We planned to meet the very next day to start working on it. Late Saturday night I realized I needed to make flyers to post around the church to advertise for it. Nothing had been posted for the January activity yet and it would be in two weeks!
I was up very late that night and when Sunday morning rolled around I did not want to get up. Josh wasn’t feeling well and said he was going to stay home from church. I wanted to stay home too but it was my fault I was up so late and I don’t think my being exhausted was a good enough excuse. So I got up and got the four children ready for church and we went. We arrived late, had to park down the road and walk in. All the seats were full so we ended up sitting in the foyer for Sacrament Mtg. and missed half the Sacrament. It was fast and testimony meeting and my dear son Trevor bore his sweet testimony for the second time of his life. That was the only good moment of all of church. I was exhausted, the kids were being kids and I just plain didn’t want to be there. I posted the flyers for the workshop and attended my meetings like I should.
That afternoon back at home I started getting so stressed out over the workshop. I was literally sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. It consumed my entire body. It was the most awful feeling I had ever felt. I wanted to call Louise and tell her it was off but I had just announced it all over church! I did not know what to do or how to get rid of the stress and doubt and awful feelings that were literally consuming every fiber of my body. The only thing I could think of was to get a blessing from my husband. I am so grateful he is a worthy priesthood holder and that he can give me blessings I need in the very instant I need them. As he gave me the blessing I do not recall anything that he said. All I could focus on was the calmness that I felt. All the anxiety had left and I felt calm inside. It was wonderful. However, not long after the blessing the all consuming feelings of anxiety, stress, fear, and doubt returned. I was so confused! Was I supposed to do this workshop? I cried in despair and went to my husband for guidance. He is always so helpful to ask me questions and walk me through things mentally.
I decided I would still do the workshop because of the peaceful feeling I had received during the blessing. I met with Crystal Monday morning and we continued working on the details of the workshop. Day after day I still felt doubt, fear, stress, to an all consuming level. It would go away when I was talking with Crystal and at other brief moments. For days I could not sleep, my body was weak and trembling. I wanted to hide from myself but there was no escape.
It was now Thursday evening. I was crying for the umpteenth time about the workshop asking Josh again what I should do. I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I could not eat, I could not sleep. I could not go on like this any longer. He told me that only I could get that answer. It was between me and the Lord.
I resolved to go to my closet and consult the Lord. This wasn’t the first time I had done this. I had prayed for help and guidance all week and I felt like he was guiding me so why was I completely consumed with doubt, fear, etc?
I remembered something I had learned about praying for answers. It is best to ask “yes/no” questions rather than open ended ones. So I knelt down with a paper and pencil and wrote down a few questions. First, Should I do this workshop? Every time I asked that question the calmness would gently come in to my heart. OK, second question, Is the workshop outline (basically the contents of the workshop) ok? I felt a “no”. Something in the outline was wrong. Was it in the wrong order? Was it because I hadn’t actually done all the things I was teaching about? Was something missing? I sat there asking contemplating, listening, feeling, seeking for answers. It was frustrating and hard but I tried my hardest to seek His will and receive answers. When something came to my mind I wrote it down. “Power of thoughts”... “Create spiritually before physically” … “Laws”. I then started to write down everything I knew about the laws of “creation spiritually before physically” and the “law of the harvest”. I came to the conclusion I needed to talk about the laws of the universe and how our behavior stems from our thoughts. If we want to change our behavior we have to change our thoughts—what we focus on. Change our focus from earthly things to spiritual things. Focus on Christ. I received my answer! It took a long time, but it came. That night I could not sleep. My mind would not stop thinking about the points I needed to talk about. I was SO tired and tried to sleep but every time a thought came to my head I got up and went into my closet to write it down. This went on all night long. By morning I had several pages of sticky notes filled with ideas. I went to the computer and started a whole new outline for the workshop and put it together beginning to end. Finally I started to calm down. Things were starting to work out. By the very end of the day, I could actually go to sleep for the first time in a week.
I know that God knows who I am. He is aware of what I am doing. He knows my desires and wants to help me and does help me along the way, especially when I ask for specific help. This has been the craziest week of my life. I have never felt the feelings so intensely before. There is a true and living God. This is God’s church. He has THE plan. When we are stressed it is because we are trying to fit Him in to our plan. It is when we fit ourselves to His plan that things work out. I am so thankful for prayer. I am so thankful for inspiration. It is so real. You must be in tune with your feelings and be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Your feelings tell you if things are right or wrong. I know that there are keys of the kingdom. That with our callings there are keys that we are given to aid us in those callings. I have charge over the Relief Society Meetings and the sisters of our ward. I know that I have the right to discernment and guidance as to what the sisters need and how to plan activities to assist them in developing the areas of need. This gospel is amazing. I am so grateful for the Plan of Happiness. And we have a choice to pick God’s plan and the promised blessings, or to choose our own plan with no promise attached.
When making the outline for the workshop I had titled it “Blueprint Outline”. But by the time I was through I knew it was “God’s Blueprint.” I put blood, sweat and tears in to it. What an experience. God is in control. He is teaching us along the way if we are willing to learn. In every experience he is trying to teach us to TRUST IN HIM. He is our God. He is our Father. He knows you. He loves you. TRUST in His plan and you will not go wrong.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Learning to Follow the Spirit
My new calling as RS Mtg. Coordinator has been a great experience for me. I have been able to really learn to recognize the spirit and how it works as I have been planning and preparing the meetings for our relief society sisters. This takes inspiration to know the needs of our specific ward and what the Lord would have us do to edify them.
The spirit is real. It is aware of my responsibilities and has been there to help guide me.
The hard part is then Satan comes in and tries to throw me off course. After I decide on the purpose of our activity, Satan tries to make me doubt it big time.
I have been gearing up for our big January Blueprint Workshop on setting goals. The purpose is in helping the sisters really make sure their actions are in alignment with their values and ultimate desires. Last Sunday we put of fliers and started announcing this activity to everyone. That afternoon I was physically sick to my stomach and filled with doubt. It wasn't the kind of doubting with questions of is this right. It was different, but very real and was literally making me physically, mentally and emotionally sick to the point that I wanted to just call the whole thing off.
I then had Josh give me a priesthood blessing and during the blessing those sick feelings were completely gone. Since then those doubts have not returned.
I know Satan is real and that he was trying to get me to back out of this workshop because it is something that will really benefit the women of our ward. I know the Lord allows Satan to test me to see how committed I truly am to His work. He wants to see how deep my desire lays when things get tough, and if I have the faith to make it through.
This calling has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I am recognizing how the spirit works, how Satan tries to thwart those plans. I am experiencing inspiration and guidance and fulfillment in my expression through these meetings of my testimony.
The spirit is real. It is aware of my responsibilities and has been there to help guide me.
The hard part is then Satan comes in and tries to throw me off course. After I decide on the purpose of our activity, Satan tries to make me doubt it big time.
I have been gearing up for our big January Blueprint Workshop on setting goals. The purpose is in helping the sisters really make sure their actions are in alignment with their values and ultimate desires. Last Sunday we put of fliers and started announcing this activity to everyone. That afternoon I was physically sick to my stomach and filled with doubt. It wasn't the kind of doubting with questions of is this right. It was different, but very real and was literally making me physically, mentally and emotionally sick to the point that I wanted to just call the whole thing off.
I then had Josh give me a priesthood blessing and during the blessing those sick feelings were completely gone. Since then those doubts have not returned.
I know Satan is real and that he was trying to get me to back out of this workshop because it is something that will really benefit the women of our ward. I know the Lord allows Satan to test me to see how committed I truly am to His work. He wants to see how deep my desire lays when things get tough, and if I have the faith to make it through.
This calling has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I am recognizing how the spirit works, how Satan tries to thwart those plans. I am experiencing inspiration and guidance and fulfillment in my expression through these meetings of my testimony.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)